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Robbie Reunion

August 16, 2010

Out of pure boredom I agreed to meet Robbie for a quick drink. He basically beat me down and there is a good chance I also bought a water filter, life supply of Tupperware and a food dehydrator from him while I was at it.

We seemed to become friends (in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way) and I figured why not.

Robbie was sitting in his chair uncomfortably squirming, fidgeting with his shirt.
“Do you like when I wear shirts like this or belly shirts?” He asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you like these shirts or belly shirts?”
“You wear ‘belly shirts’?”
“Yea. You know. Shorter shirts.”
“Robbie, you shouldn’t even say the word belly shirt”
“My friend Mike calls me Bobby Belly Shirts.”
“Why?”
“Cause when I lift my arms up sometimes my shirts are short and my stomach sticks out.”
Just when I thought Robbie couldn’t be more strange, I come to find out he has a stash of belly shirts, which as far as I am concerned haven’t been worn since 1984…on girls…but what do I know anymore. Clearly nothing, as I am here after all.

“Why won’t you be with me Darcy?”
“The thing is Robbie, when you ask me to do things like freeze my eggs (See: He’s Baaack, August 6, 2010)…I realize why I don’t want to date someone SEVEN years younger.”
“Darcy, I was kidding about the freezing of the eggs. I have super sperm. I would have no problem getting you pregnant.”
“Robbie, there will be no sex”
“What are you doing for sexual activity?”
“What?”
“Sex, what are you doing for sex. What is your level of sexual activity.”
The weird thing is, because he is a doctor, it sounded okay coming from him. WTF, Snap out of it Darcy, he is a doctor, but not YOUR doctor. He is your STALKER.
“Robbie, my sex life is none of your business. Not that I have one.”
“Let me help you with that Darcy.”
“No. I’m fine.”
“What can I do to make you my wife?”
“Um, you don’t know me. At all. We went on two dates, 3 months ago.”
“I know all I need to know. I am not giving up ever. You are my dream girl.”
“If by dream girl, you mean, we only have a relationship in your dreams, then sure, I guess I am.”
“Give me your address.”
“NO WAY. Why?”
“I want to start sending you things, like orchids.”
“And ransom notes?”
“Darcy, you don’t take me seriously.”
“HOW CAN I? YOU CALL ME EVERY DAY AND OUR LAST DATE WAS THREE MONTHS AGO!”
“I call you more than once a day. At least three times a day” He says. Thinking that makes it better?

I can’t make this up. Even if I tried.

Want to catch up on dear old Robbie? See: He’s Baaack,August 6, 2010, Channeling Demi July 6, 2010,The Robbie Report, June 23, 2010, Real Phone Calls From Real Men, June 14, 2010, Real Texts From Real Men May 27, 2010, and Real Voice Mail From Real Men, June 1, 2010. Meet Robbie’s Family. Robbie On Housekeeping, Hey Jealousy, Robbie.com

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. BitchinVixen permalink
    August 16, 2010 9:25 am

    I love this! Fact is indeed stranger than fiction. I have to say, the fact that he’s a doctor speaks volumes! I haven’t read all your entries, but I’d put good money on him being a surgeon. I’m surrounded by them and I refuse to date them (Not saying they aren’t good for other things though). Keep writing!

  2. August 16, 2010 10:15 am

    LOL. I love Robbie. He’s my fave 🙂 At least he’s persistent!!

    • August 16, 2010 11:04 am

      I know Catherine! I am somehow dating him now! (Just kidding- but he did rope me into seeing him!)

  3. August 18, 2010 11:59 pm

    Hoooooooly crap. I think I’ve just lost all faith in the medical profession. 😉

    • August 19, 2010 12:04 pm

      Ha! From where I am sitting i have lost faith in most professions 🙂 Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

      • August 19, 2010 12:10 pm

        Not me. I still have faith in the oldest profession. 😉

  4. March 18, 2011 6:06 am

    i think i quite like robbie. but i must say, hes a little eager!!

Trackbacks

  1. My Date With Robbie. « Darcy Dates
  2. Real Texts From Robbie « Darcy Dates
  3. Meet Robbie’s Family « Darcy Dates
  4. I have a new crush… | Maggie's Man Hunt
  5. Hey Jealousy… « Darcy Dates
  6. Robbie On Housekeeping « Darcy Dates
  7. A Visit From Robbie « Darcy Dates
  8. A Diamond is Forever. And So is Robbie. « Darcy Dates
  9. Robbie.com « Darcy Dates
  10. Eleven Missed Calls « Darcy Dates
  11. Robbie Gets Cocky « Darcy Dates
  12. Channeling Demi « Darcy Dates

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