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Mr. Wrong Right Now

August 18, 2010

My dear old friend Josh, who is also a life coach, unfortunately not my life coach, but gives me great advice from time to time asked me once:
“Darcy, as I read your blog (and set you up with this guy, See: Ghost Of Risotto Past & Darcy Plus Party) one question comes to mind. I wonder if you are looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?”

Huh. I never really thought about it that way. While I would think I was looking for Mr. Right, he did have a point. My choices weren’t always well…that great. It made me wonder; Did I want a long-term partner, or was I looking for someone to have some fun with? I had been married for 7 1/2 years and much of my adult life, if not all of it thus far, was essentially spent as being someone’s wife. Maybe I liked the freedom to make choices and make mistakes (which I am nearly an expert on by the way!). I kind of like my life right now. I hit the jackpot of having the best child on earth and everything else is a bonus as far as I am concerned. But I did start to examine my life, by looking at it from Josh’s perspective, and I came to a stunning revelation.

This is how I know I am not yet ready for “Mr. Right” and I am really just ready for “Mr. Right Now”:

Driving down the highway last week I was behind a motorcycle. It was a racing bike of some kind. I couldn’t really see the guy on it, other than he had on shorts and a t-shirt and a helmet. Suddenly, out of no-where, on a major highway he popped a full on wheelie and rode for about a quarter-mile like that. It went on for so long, I didn’t know that type of stunt was actually possible. He kept casually glancing over his shoulder, no big deal, just going about 80, popping a wheelie on the highway. Holding it for longer than I knew it was ever possible to even hold a wheelie.

My initial thought: He’s CRAZY. That is SO dangerous. What an IDIOT. He can die in a second. What normal person does that?

My next thought: He’s so crazy he is hot and I want to drive behind him for hours and possibly follow him off at his next exit.

Therein lies the rub of my romantic life. I want the nice guy who will be doting and kind and loyal, but I want him to be a wild man doing a wheelie down a highway like a complete dangerous nut job. I gotta work on this. Note to self: Get your head checked. See what can be done about this.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. August 18, 2010 10:29 am

    Wonderful article! Consider there maybe a middle ground like a Vespa or take the motorcycle but add a side-car. Yours in coaching, Joshua.

    • August 18, 2010 11:18 am

      Thanks Josh!! It was a good question you asked! Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting!

  2. August 18, 2010 3:43 pm

    Hmm I’m probably not ready for Mr. Right either. But I don’t know if I can handle a Mr. Right Now, so we’ll see. Great post!

    • August 18, 2010 5:54 pm

      I think this is a dilemma for most people. You want one thing, but it doesn’t come with the perks of another. I wish I could have Mr. Right, with all the trimmings of Mr. Right Now, but it doesn’t always work that way. Or can it? I guess we will find out! Stay tuned! Thanks for reading and thank you so much for your comment!

  3. August 19, 2010 11:13 am

    Hmmm, I have a similar experience….

    One girlfriend I had, we got along great. We never fought, and even when we disgreed, we always were able to hash everything out very rationally and civilly. At the same time, there wasn’t much passion in the relationship, and it was almost as though we were together because it was a logical thing to do.

    Another girlfriend I had, we had that wild crazy passion for each other, and I could barely keep my hands off her. At the same time, we would also get into huge fights, to the point where we were yelling at each other.

    After experiencing both these relationships, I told myself that the girl I want to be with is the one I get along with, but am *also* passionate for.

    Now, I wonder, though, if maybe the two are mutually exclusive. Is it possible to have the passion without the fights? Is it possible to have the civility without the… well, nonchalance?

    Anyway, I know your situation isn’t exactly the same, but I wonder if nice/caring/doting/loyal and crazy/wild might be mutually exclusive characteristics….

    • August 19, 2010 12:07 pm

      Great comment Dennis! I find where there is hot passion, there are hot passionate fights. I always say, sometimes hate is better than indifference. At least with hate you have some strong emotions…indifference is well…empty!

      Thanks for reading Dennis and I appreciate your great comment!

      • August 19, 2010 12:09 pm

        Hey, no problem. And thanks for sharing your stories. Nice blog! πŸ™‚

  4. BitchinVixen permalink
    August 20, 2010 3:43 pm


    What a knob. You could always use the line that my sister likes…

    “Do you know how many pounds of pressure it takes to rip a man’s balls off?…(answer = 3)

    Grab. Twist. Pull.

  5. BitchinVixen permalink
    August 20, 2010 3:44 pm

    Sorry, I actually meant to put that on the one about “Last Night” Spaz moment.


  1. Mr. Wrong Right Now (via Darcy Dates) « The Vixen's Blog
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