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Dear Date From Last Night

August 20, 2010

Dear Date From Last Night:

If it is our first date, and the entire time all through dinner, you are begging to see my underwear at the table, and I say no, and you continue to beg, I won’t want to go out with you again.
If I tell you that you are making me incredibly uncomfortable and you tell me what you are doing is completely normal, I will think you should be checked into a program at one of the Federal Universities.
If you call me a prude for not showing you my underwear at said table, on our first date, I will understand why you are 42 and never been married.
If, when we get up to leave, you are walking behind me, and lift up my dress all the way to my waist, unbeknownst to me, exposing my entire ass to the restaurant so you can look at my underwear, you should understand why I punched you. Just be thankful you still have your teeth.

Love,
Darcy

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. August 20, 2010 11:33 am

    WTF???

  2. August 20, 2010 1:33 pm

    Okay, Darcy, I think you need to close your account on FreakyAssDudes.com and maybe join one of the more, um, mainstream online dating sites….

    • August 20, 2010 6:43 pm

      It’s unreal right? I am surprised to hear how many people can relate to these stories! I have never really experienced dating as an adult until after my divorce, so I am learning the crash course way!

      • August 20, 2010 8:44 pm

        Ummm… yeah, count me out on the “being able to relate” part. I can’t recall ever having my dress lifted up above my waist by anyone.

        Then again, who knows what I might’ve done in my drunken college days….

  3. August 20, 2010 4:10 pm

    Did that last paragraph really happen?? I’ve been reading some of your older blog posts – you’ve met some scary guys! You’ve managed to turn it into very entertaining reading though!

    • August 20, 2010 6:41 pm

      Yes! It really did! I find being able to find the humor in these situations is the best way to handle most of them! Thank you so much for reading and I appreciate your comments~

  4. Debbie Helman permalink
    September 20, 2010 10:38 pm

    Darcy,

    Dear Date from last night was hysterical! I thought I had some funny stories. Maybe this is why I’m still single. P.S….Robbie sounds like fun! Keep writing….It’s very entertaining!

    Thanks for the laughs!!!
    Debbie

  5. December 16, 2010 1:11 pm

    amazing. thanks for the laugh!!

  6. December 23, 2010 7:43 pm

    Wow. You find some really creepy men. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places for dates? I can’t relate but I love reading your blog regardless. I hope you find some decent guys who will treat you well.

    • December 25, 2010 11:40 pm

      Thank you for reading, and thanks so much for your comment! I have had some really creepy dates, but really good ones too. Luckily for me I have a good one right now. Stay tuned!

  7. July 16, 2012 11:28 am

    With apologies to LL Cool J … “Darcy said knock you out…” 😉

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