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It’s Not Me, It’s You

September 14, 2010

“It’s not me, it’s you.”

I know this is not acceptable to say, but sometimes I wish it were. It’s kind of like how He’s Just Not That Into You revolutionized the way women thought about men and the fact that they were being blown off, or not pursued. It seemed people everywhere were breathing a sigh of relief that it was as simple as realizing he just wasn’t that into them.

There are tons of dates I have been on, and tons of guys I have met where I have thought, he is super awesome, a great guy, incredibly smart, cute and dynamic…for someone else. Something about him just wasn’t the right fit for me. Nothing you can put into words really, just that certain je ne sais quoi. But there have been other times, when it wasn’t about me. I didn’t want to say “it’s not you, it’s me” because it  wasn’t me. It’s you dammit. You are creepy, aggressive, angry, crazy, I might suspect you aren’t into women, and if you were it was strictly so you could wear their shoes. Whatever the case it’s not me, it’s you. If only we could say that. Send that one sentence in a text, maybe we would breathe a sigh of relief. This isn’t only in the dating world. It may work with friends as well.

“Hey Darcy, haven’t seen you in a while. You must be really busy with Bear and work?”
Instead of having to write you are busy, life is getting in the way, you don’t have a babysitter, you aren’t feeling well, you’re a flake, you are going through something, you are organizing your lladro figurines, you can write back:
“No. Actually I haven’t. I have been free as a bird. It’s not me, it’s you.”
Insert shoulder shrug here.
Just typing it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Ah, simple pleasures. It’s like porn for the over-commited.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2010 8:26 am

    “It’s like porn for the over-committed.” Yeah? Haha. I reckon you should start the whole “It’s not me, it’s you” phenomenon. I’ll back you – it’s an effective no BS approach.

    • September 14, 2010 8:46 am

      Why thank you! Let’s go, starting NOW! Let me know how it works for you, and I will keep you updated how it’s working for me! Thanks for reading, and thanks for your comment!

  2. September 14, 2010 9:03 am

    Woman. I love this. I may actually send 3 texts this very moment- “It’s not me, it’s you.” I’m also going to type out- “insert shoulder shrug”.

  3. David permalink
    September 14, 2010 6:07 pm

    I wonder if we could get #itsnotmeitsyou to trend on twitter…

    • September 14, 2010 6:15 pm

      I like it! Let’s do it! How? I don’t know Twitter so well. Or “The Twitter” as an uneducated Twitter person would say!

  4. September 14, 2010 8:21 pm

    We told our mom it’s not you it’s me.

    She stopped making her lasagna.

    We just wanted to say we love your blog! Spreading the love!

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