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Real Texts From Robbie

October 15, 2010

I haven’t yet published my last story about Robbie because I am really behind, but something so Robbie-esque happened I had to publish it immediately. In short, Robbie and I stopped speaking for a while. Well, we’re still not really speaking. You will get to read that story soon. Promise. But for now, please enjoy the story below.

I woke up this morning with a text from Robbie.
I opened up the attachment and it was a picture… of his penis.
Sigh.
This is really not something I would expect from Robbie. From this guy (See: Real Texts From Real Men), maybe. But not my Robbie. This was very out of character.
I text back:
“What the fk?”
And again.
“Seriously!? What the fk?”
“You don’t like it?”
“Robbie. We are friends. Friends don’t text friends pictures of their penis.”
“Friends show each other their parts.”
Parts?
“I have zero interest in your parts.”
“FINE!”

I shake my head. Even for Robbie this was crazy. I receive another text:
“Why can’t you tell me if you think it’s nice or not?”
“Ask a girl you are sleeping with. Or a girl who cares.”
“Your being immature.”
Really? Because last I checked immature is texting a picture of your “parts” to girls who don’t want to see them. But sure. I know the regular rules of society don’t apply to the world I live in with Robbie so I just overlook it.
“Okay. Your right. I’m immature.”
“Tell me what you think of it!”
Is he demanding I critique his penis via a picture he texted me?
“This is what I think: There are things I love about you, but overall you are a total douchebag.”
“Darcy! You know that’s not true.”

This is when the calling begins. He continues to pass the phone around to his friends who are chiming in with “We miss you Darcy!”, “When are we going to see you Darcy?”. It’s like I am on speakerphone in a kindergarten classroom.
He jumps back on the phone.
“I want to see you.”
“No.”
“Fine. I’ll call you back.”
I know, I think to myself, I know.

Just tuning in? Robbie is a favorite character. To catch yourself up see: See: My Date With Robbie, Robbie Reunion, He’s Baaack,August 6, 2010, Channeling Demi July 6, 2010,The Robbie Report, June 23, 2010, Real Phone Calls From Real Men, June 14, 2010, Real Texts From Real Men May 27, 2010, and Real Voice Mail From Real Men, June 1, 2010.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. AnnaBelle permalink
    October 16, 2010 8:30 pm

    I don’t know Robbie, but I definitely have a crush on him. I love the Robbie stories!

    • October 17, 2010 5:56 pm

      He is all yours 🙂 Thanks for reading and thank you for commenting!

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