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Spray And Wash

October 18, 2010

This entry is dedicated to Hogan Lipschitz.

After a seemingly good date with a guy I liked who never asked me out again…I asked him out. I told one of my good guy friends:
“So I am going out with him again tonight.”
“Really? He asked you out again?”
“No. I asked him.”
“What? Why? Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know. Why not?”
“Well then I hope you plan on banging him.”
“What?”
“You better bang him.”
“Nice. You know me better than that. You know that’s not going to happen.”
“Well if a girl asked me out for drinks, I would basically go home and change my sheets and think it meant she was going to fuck me.”
“Well, why change the sheets? Maybe I made it so easy he doesn’t even need to go through the work of changing them. Maybe he just needs to Febreze them!”

The Darcy Dictionary:
Febreze:
noun-A spray product people use when they are too lazy to actually clean or wash something.
verb– What men do to their sheets when a girl makes it way too easy to get a date with her.
adjective– “She’s not the kind of girl you need to change the sheets for. She’s more of a Febreze kind of girl.”

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. October 18, 2010 10:00 am

    Love it!

    So…did you lay it down on those freshly Febreezed sheets?!

    -Lucky

    • October 20, 2010 9:18 am

      That you so much for reading! And thanks for your comment. You will have to stay tuned for that answer 😉

  2. tommyboy permalink
    October 18, 2010 10:04 am

    Okay, I know you…what guy in his right mind wouldn’t ask you out again? Regardless, Febreze is so funny. I am going to start using it.

    • October 20, 2010 9:20 am

      Ha! Thank you. That is very sweet. As they say, “he just wasn’t that into me.” And I am okay with it. Thank s for reading and please feel free to use it!

  3. October 18, 2010 12:55 pm

    LOL. Literally… too funny.

    • October 20, 2010 9:23 am

      Thank you! As always I appreciate your loyal reading and commenting! (this by the way should answer your question, “should you ever call a guy?” 🙂

      • October 20, 2010 10:38 am

        Haha, it does. Don’t call him – unless you want to be a Febreze kind of girl 🙂

      • October 20, 2010 11:51 am

        Ha! Words to live by!

  4. loveandcoco permalink
    October 19, 2010 4:35 pm

    Hahaha. “She’s more of a Febreeze kind of girl” Love it

  5. October 19, 2010 7:37 pm

    LOL loved the adjective of febreeze…

    so hello… were the sheets febreezed, washed, or do you not know?! 🙂

    • October 20, 2010 9:23 am

      The adjective of Febreze was my favorite as well. Thanks for reading and I appreciate your comment. Stay tuned….

Trackbacks

  1. How To Pick Up A Guy « Darcy Dates
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