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Breaking The Fast

October 28, 2010

This is dedicated to my dear old friend “D”, who asked if Darcy was in fact looking for love, and I just didn’t know the answer…

I have fallen off the wagon. Actually, I haven’t fallen. I am jumping off with my very own two feet. I have never been one for diets or detox’s (See: Dating Detox) I have never been one for anything that involved any type of will really. You know that saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way?” Yeah. I can’t relate to that. In my case, I will not. I was never really a good faster on Yom Kippur so why should this day be any different than any other day, as us Jews like to say.

Surprisingly, I got a lot of boycott regarding my fast. Even my gyno didn’t agree with it. I, by the way, told him that it’s probably because he wanted to make a little more money off of me, by me having another baby, or getting an STD of some kind. He laughed, but inside he knew I had a good point.

I have an old saying, I don’t know where it came from. Probably a calendar or a mug, or a needlepoint pillow at a math tutors house in 8th grade: “Don’t waste the pretty.” It’s the advice I usually give to my girlfriends who are spending way too much time on a guy who doesn’t deserve it. I realized, by not accepting dates of any kind, I was in fact wasting the pretty. I was a pretty waster. Not very green of me to be so wasteful. I needed to do it for the environment. Or at least my environment. It was much healthier than my aspirations of riding the luggage carousel or working on my relationship with fake Jim from the office, who by the way, I just found out is married.

The fast so far has given me a bit of clarity that I didn’t have before. It’s only been 18 days, but in ten more days, if it were February, it would be a month. It gave me a good chance to clear my head. However, the other night I caught a re-run of Pretty Woman. It’s probably the twelve millionth time I have seen it but it made me realize, I do want to fall in love. Not with a hooker, but with a really great guy. This was a big break through for me. With all the dating and the don’t-ing I lost sight of what it was I was looking for. I want to find a soul mate, another great love of my life. There. I said it. Without even gagging. Very un-Darcy of me, but it’s true. I have found one before and I will find one again. I want someone who can make me laugh and keep me on my toes. I want someone who I can’t keep my hands off of. I want a worthy adversary and someone who will let me make the temperature 40 below when we are sleeping. I want someone who is great to me and great to Bear. I want someone to take the other side of my silly bets. I want someone who lights up when I walk in the room and someone who will fight to the death in the gauntlet for me (Is that extreme? I figure as long as I am making my list, why not.) I know all of these things are possible because I was lucky enough to experience all of these things before. And some people don’t even get that! And I believe I can find it again because I know there are multiple soul mates out there for everyone. Just look at the Polygamists! Those guys found lots of wives. And I am sure some of them can still find room in their hearts for a few more. Maybe I should move to Utah? Nah. I love New York. And I am not a great sharer. Well, I am. But not in a sister-wife kind of way.

My life is filled with love. I love my child, I love my family, I love my friends, I even love my ex-husband, but there is room for more. Maybe not in my closet (See: Needing Space), but in my life for sure. And I want that. And more kids. And more chaos. I have really enjoyed the time I have spent not quilting, and I have yet to make it to Shake Shack, but my me-time and my me and Bear time and my, me and my friends eating wings and drinking beer time (which doesn’t often happen because they are more of a wine crew), does not have to be affected by my dates, not that it ever was.

By the way, do you know love is the most googled word on the internet?

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. October 28, 2010 12:32 pm

    By the way, do you know love is the most googled word on the internet?

    “Love”… “sex”….

    Same difference. 😉

    • October 28, 2010 2:09 pm

      Dennis! There in lies the problem! Not the same difference to girls! Do us all a favor and remember that! 🙂

  2. October 28, 2010 4:51 pm

    Ah this is a great post….very true of me as well. I am on a fast from love and guys but it’s honestly because my “knight in shining armor” hasn’t shown up yet.

    I just don’t want to waste my time on non-shining armor guys so at the moment I’m on a fast until some hunk of a man comes into my life and blinds me from all others.

    I’m kidding somewhat but that’s what my heart says. If you expect me to say all this aloud so I can be taped-forget it 🙂

    • October 29, 2010 1:49 pm

      Thank you very much. I guess that’s how it usually works out, huh?

  3. BitchinVixen permalink
    October 29, 2010 1:19 pm

    Well said!

  4. loveandcoco permalink
    November 3, 2010 2:00 pm

    I love that ‘love’ is the most googled word (no pun intended) there may still be hope for the world

  5. @michelby1 permalink
    September 11, 2012 11:04 pm

    Darcy, I am off on a new quest to find that, “someone who will fight to the death in the guantlet for me”! Extreme? Yes…only in the movies. Best wishes, and I’ll let you know how it turns out. Think good thoughts for me, and if I’m ever in New York… 😉

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