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It’s Complicated

November 4, 2010

You know when you see someone’s Facebook relationship status set to “It’s Complicated”, and you were never quite sure what that meant?

If you’re this guy: (See: Ghost of Risotto Past & Darcy Plus Party)  this is what it means:

“Hey. Remember when I met you and I was pursuing you hardcore, and we started seeing each other and could barely keep our hands off each other? And then suddenly I vanished into thin air and I hid from you? Remember? I may or may not have faked my own death…or at least pretended to be my friend and never had the nerve to face you ever again once I disappeared and you never quite had the explanation you deserved? It’s because I really had a girlfriend. The whole time. Actually, we’ve been together for at least a year. Oh yea, and we are still together.  That would explain the “hiding.”  I was just actually praying I would never get caught and I didn’t really think our paths would ever cross, because I don’t live in the city.

Oh! And before I forget, remember that long speech I gave you about how I don’t understand cheating? How i’d never cheat on my girlfriend if I had one, because really what is the point, and why be with someone you weren’t that into? Yeah. That was a fake speech, because I actually was cheating on my girlfriend when I gave that speech. It was pretty convincing wasn’t it?”

Yep. I’d say that’s pretty damn complicated.


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10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 4, 2010 10:48 am

    Actually, that sounds pretty simple to me. I mean, if he had a wife whom he was cheating on with his girlfriend, whom he was cheating on with another dude, whom he was cheating on with a sheep, whom he was cheating on with you… okay, maybe that’d be a little more complicated.

  2. November 5, 2010 8:41 am

    Hah. Now, with Facebook, it’s making it harder for some of these guys to get away with cheating.

    I watched a whole drama unfold on Facebook a few weeks ago when a woman found out the guy she was seeing really wasn’t divorced as he had told her. She publicly flogged him on her page for days. But then she got back together with him. But then a few weeks later she posted the photo of some woman asking all her followers if they recognized her and could reveal her identity.

    Um. Wow. I wonder if Zuckerberg knew Facebook would be used for stalking purposes.

    • November 5, 2010 12:31 pm

      So true! That must have been pretty crazy to watch! The lines are very blurred these days about what counts as too much information!

  3. November 6, 2010 7:22 pm

    Ugh. Sorry Darcy. What a jerk.

    • November 7, 2010 8:24 pm

      Don’t worry Catherine. He wasn’t good for me anyway 🙂 But thank you!

  4. November 8, 2010 9:35 pm

    Wow. Jerk status most definitely. People think they could hide so much on Facebook. Such a lie everyone always knows someone who knows someone or something…idiotic

  5. November 24, 2010 2:31 am

    I like your writing style! You have a great sense of humor. I once changed my FB status to the dreaded “It’s Complicated” and that unleashed WWIII. The ironic thing is, I did this when my relationship was probably the least bit complicated. Go figure…

    • November 26, 2010 2:11 pm

      Thanks so much for reading! Remember, relationships should take some work, but should never be complicated!


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