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I’ll Have What He’s Having

December 23, 2010

4 years earlier…

My first fix up after my divorce was with a man named Drew. Drew was the best friend of my best friends husband. Less complicated than it sounds. Drew was a big shot in the music industry and was used to dating women 10 years younger than me, which was odd since Drew was 20 years older than I was. This made me uncomfortable.
“He is young for 50!″ They would say. Whatever that means. At the tender age of 30 I felt 50 was 100.
I agreed to meet Drew, and he agreed to meet me, even though I was old.

I met Drew at his restaurant of choice. They were right. While he was 50, he had a boyish look with his Adidas sneakers and Scoop t-shirt. We approached the hostess to get a table and they said they couldn’t seat us.
“We are swamped tonight.” The hostess said.
For as many times I had to speak to Drew’s assistant before the date, I was surprised Drew didn’t have a reservation.
“My assistant will call you and tell you where to meet me”, “My assistant will arrange to have you picked up,” “My assistant will be hiding in a dark alley stalking you all day.”
In retrospect, I knew more about his assistant than I ever knew about Drew.
“I usually only eat places where they know me.” He said, after we got shut down for a table.
I decide Drew is a bit eccentric and quite possibly egocentric. Being that we were in Columbus Circle there weren’t very many choices.
“Let’s go to Jean Georges” He said.
We ducked into Jean Georges as though it were McDonald’s and asked if they had a table. They sized up my date.
“You can’t come in here dressed like that sir. You need a jacket.”
They offered to “lend” him one. Poor guy, I thought, though he wasn’t poor at all, in fact, quite the contrary, so I didn’t feel that bad for him.
Drew and I sat down in the stuffy fancy restaurant as though we had been married for years and we were there to celebrate a platinum anniversary. I looked at Drew with his borrowed clothes. Drew was used to being one of the most fashionable guys in the room. Now he sat there awkwardly in an ill-fitting borrowed coat.
Fat guy in a little coat,’ I chanted in my head.
Though Drew wasn’t fat. In fact, drew was handsome…for an older man.
So this is what it was like dating an older man, I thought to myself. I was that younger girl dating an older man. Huh. I was the cliché. Although Drew wasn’t known as an older man. Drew, in fact, had been placed on New York City’s most eligible bachelor list by many top publications. It was just me and one of New York City’s most eligible bachelors, out to dinner, borrowed blazer and all.

As Drew and I spoke I found it refreshing. He was smart. Raised his kids on his own. He had very nice eye lashes. So long and dark, I thought. I looked a little closer and began to examine his face. Was Drew wearing makeup? Possibly mascara? I think he was. Drew was wearing manscara! I blinked rapidly trying to clear my vision. I think there was foundation too!
I quickly texted Alexis: “Does Drew wear make-up???”
“It’s possible. Some people think that.”
“They think that because he does.” I shot back.

After dinner we hopped in Drew’s car. He told me he would have the driver drop him off at home first and then the driver would take me to my house. Breaking news: chivalry  IS dead. I’m not so much a rules and manners girl, but for a guy that just asked me out on a second date, was he really letting ME drop HIM off, in HIS car, with HIS driver? I found it funny that he couldn’t ride in the car the extra ten blocks out of his way to be chivalrous.

After a few more dates, I decided Drew was used to having the entire world revolve around him. Drew and I would go to his favorite restaurant. I am not complaining because its one of my favorites as well. Drew would order for us and never ask me input of what I wanted. The waiter would come by.
“Can I take this for you?” He would ask.
“Ok” Drew would say, without asking me if i was finished, and the waiter would basically pull the fork right out of my mouth. At one point the bus boy and I wrestled with each other over my salad plate.

As I had guessed earlier, Drew was in fact, a bit eccentric. “I don’t use public bathrooms!” he had announced one night at dinner.
I laughed.
“No, I really don’t,” he continued, “the idea is so disgusting to me, I just can’t do it.”
He was serious?
“What if you have to go to the bathroom?” I ask.
“I just don’t.”
Huh. Whatever works. For your bladder. Which I am surprised hasn’t exploded into 4 million pieces. I suddenly had to use the bathroom and used the one in the restaurant.
That Darcy, such a plebeian. I pictured him to be thinking.

I really liked Drew. He was a warm man who clearly loved his kids and was practically raising them on his own. I respected that. You could tell he was a good friend to those he cared about. He was smart and often self-deprecating, which I found to be endearing. But when push came to shove, and after Drew and I had been on a few dates, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to go home with Drew. In the end, I felt like Drew was too old for me.

For what it’s worth, I ran into drew this past summer. He has been dating a 40-year-old very seriously for a long time and he looked very hot. I guess in the time since I had seen Drew last we had both matured and evolved as people. I am a big believer that timing is everything and for Drew and I we met at the wrong time.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Claire permalink
    December 24, 2010 1:14 am

    Timing is everything. I loved this post.

    • December 25, 2010 11:39 pm

      Thank you! It’s so true about timing! That’s why I love the movie sliding doors.

  2. priscilla permalink
    December 27, 2010 6:50 pm

    Just remember the mascara and know you made the right decision

    • December 27, 2010 7:09 pm

      Ha! This made me laugh! Thank you so much for reading and thanks for your comment! I think at the time I couldn’t get past that either, but it was so long ago I forget!

  3. Keep Your Woman permalink
    December 28, 2010 12:20 pm

    great story! I can’t believe the guy was wearing makeup. Also, chivalry is NOT dead!! Real men ARE out there…

    • December 28, 2010 12:54 pm

      Yes, I have learned this since. I have a good one right now! Thanks so much for stopping by and reading! And as always, I appreciate the comments!

  4. cfox permalink
    December 30, 2010 3:56 pm

    I started at the first post and am finally all caught up! Love your blog and the much needed chuckles I get from reading it.

    • December 31, 2010 11:57 am

      Thank you so much for reading and thanks for commenting! I am glad you are enjoying it! Stay tuned!

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