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The End

April 19, 2012

I started writing Darcy Dates nearly two years ago. It was born in my bed on my laptop one evening after I had my fill of experiences and wanted to start documenting them. It started as something I did for myself. I shared it with five friends, who shared it with their friends, and so on, and so forth…until I had real readers. Who were strangers. I couldn’t have been more honored.  To write publicly is to really put yourself out there and I couldn’t have been more thrilled that people actually liked what I was writing. But I wasn’t completely putting myself out there. After all, I was writing under a pen name. Darcy, some of you will be surprised to know, is not my real name.

When I started writing Darcy, no one knew I was Darcy, but over time some people began to catch on so what I wanted to write about became harder and harder to do.

What I did realize through writing Darcy was while I thought I was trying to find love, in the process, I was really finding myself. In the time since I have began writing Darcy I have broken some hearts, and some have broken mine. I have learned what I want in a partner, and I have learned what I definitely don’t want. It’s a process. While often exhilarating, it’s sometimes exhausting.

When I lost my father I learned many important lessons. But one of the most important things I learned is it’s not what you have, it’s who you have by your side. Through this process my friends, my family, and my number one man, my son have been my rock. They have been my everything. I was one of the lucky ones because I had love with me all along. Real, true unconditional love.

I have a ton of stories I have written for Darcy Dates that I haven’t published. That is mainly because I don’t feel the freedom to write what I want like I did when this project first began. And without me being able to be me and write what I truly want to write it won’t be as authentic as it always was. For that reason I have decided to no longer write about my dates. Fear not, as I will continue writing. I will write about other things. Life, daily observations, experiences, my mother and of course Robbie (because how could I not). But not my dates. You can find my new stories at my new site, The Darcy Report. You can also follow my blog on Huffington Post Comedy. I promise to keep you entertained, or at least I promise to try.

Thank you so much for your support over these past two years. I can’t have asked for a better group of readers and I am so honored when each of you shared it, liked it, wrote me, commented and shared your stories with me. I hope you continue to do the same when I am writing about other things.

So…I know what you are all thinking. Where does the story of Darcy Dates end?

My first love after my divorce was Colby. Some of you may remember me writing about him in Yankees vs. Red Sox & Having What It Takes. Colby and I were in love. Real love. He was my best friend and everything I wanted in a partner. To me he was perfect. They say timing is everything, and that may be true. Colby and I met when we were each newly divorced. We were just learning the ropes of single parenthood. Colby broke up with me suddenly and unexpectedly after a year of dating. He broke my heart into 4000 tiny pieces. I thought I would never recover. Three months later he came back. He said he needed to make sure this was what he wanted, after all he was so newly divorced. But it was too late. He had hurt me too badly and I thought it would never be the same. So I broke his and started dating someone else. He waited. He tried patiently for over a year. I don’t think he even dated. He just waited. We would get together, and I would try, but I was worried it was too broken and couldn’t be fixed. Even though I loved him and thought he was everything. No matter what we were doing, through the years we would always find our way back to each other. He would drop everything when I would call. This went on for 4 years.

The truth is, I wasn’t ready. I had to go on this journey and find myself and find out what I was looking for and what I needed and what I wanted. Through this process, I have. I started to really question what it is I wanted and what it was I was searching for. I learned that all relationships are different. There are even different types of love. Some people feel like a home. And others…they feel like a tent. I started to think about Colby. Colby felt like home. I started to think about what we had. I started to think about what an idiot I was. He was one of the best guys I knew. I started to lose sleep over it. I started to think about it obsessively. I reached out to him several times over the past few months but he refused to speak to me. And I didn’t blame him. I had hurt him. The same way he had hurt me. I finally decided to write him a letter. I put my entire heart in there and waited. But once again our timing wasn’t right. Colby informed me he had a girlfriend. I asked if he wanted me to leave him alone. To just say the word and I would. He said yes. Being that this whole thing was my fault, and given the level of respect I have for Colby, I did. I knew it was my own fault. You see, ten months ago, after spending a great few days with Colby I told him I couldn’t be with him. Why? Because I knew being with Colby meant forever. And that scared the living shit out of me. I have very few regrets, but this was one of them.

I didn’t hear from Colby for two months. A week ago, after dropping Bear off at school, I was turning the corner into my building when I heard someone call out.
“Hey.”
I turned to find Colby. All 6’4″ of him standing there. He had been waiting for me. He was wearing a Patriots hat, but I will let it slide. Mainly because the Giants keep beating them in the super bowl.
“What are you doing here?”
“I knew you’d be dropping Bear off at school this morning so I waited for you to get home.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I want to talk about that letter.”

One of my favorite quotes by Orsen Welles is “If you want a happy ending, that depends of course on where you stop your story.”
I choose to stop the story Darcy Dates here. You, my friends, can write your own ending. What do you think happened with me and Colby?

See you at The Darcy Report

Love and light.

All my love,

Jena (AKA Darcy)

P.s.- If you are signed up to follow Darcy Dates, you will have to sign up separately to follow the Darcy Report.

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2012 9:51 am

    I’m going to miss Darcy Dates a whole lot. But I am really excited about this new chapter for you. I know how you feel – I started my blog about a year and a half ago, and I’m not as comfortable sharing the inner workings of my life as I was then. It’s like the blog was something I really needed then, I had to get the feelings out, but now I prefer to keep them inside. I am preferring to live my life than write about living my life. But I still want to write. So I’ve been struggling similar to how you are. I’m really glad I found your blog – you made me laugh a lot and reassured me that dating can be fun and exciting. You are a great writer and I wish you the best of luck!

    • April 19, 2012 6:39 pm

      Catherine thank you so much for being such a loyal reader the past two years. It has been great getting to “know” you through our interactions. You are a great writer too and I hope you continue to write! See you on The Darcy Report! xo

  2. April 19, 2012 10:21 am

    That sounds like the perfect place to end the story.

    Good luck with the Darcy Report. And congrats again on the Huffpost column!

    • April 19, 2012 6:40 pm

      Dennis, thank you so much for your support over the past two years! You are a loyal reader and I have really enjoyed your feedback! See you at The Darcy Report! xo

  3. Blue Iris permalink
    April 19, 2012 2:04 pm

    Blue Iris is also moving to the Darcy Report.

  4. David Molnar (@ErieDavid) permalink
    April 19, 2012 5:59 pm

    I’m sorry to see this story end, but since I’ve already experienced a bit of the next one over at Huffington and the Darcy Report, it’s not too disappointing, or really that unexpected either. Life has plenty of crazy moments outside of the sphere of dating, so I have no fear that you’ll run out of stories to share with us. And I look forward to seeing them through your eyes.

    • April 19, 2012 6:41 pm

      David, thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and all of the feedback you have given. I really appreciate hearing from you and I am glad you have enjoyed it. I hope you continue to enjoy it! J

  5. April 20, 2012 3:30 pm

    Awwwww Congratulations dear. Most blogs have their time and place. You’ve done well. Onward and upward!

    • April 20, 2012 6:14 pm

      Thank you so much for your support. I appreciate you being such a loyal reader. I see you already signed up for The Darcy Report! Thank you!! See you over there!

  6. June 19, 2012 11:18 am

    Ahhh, and now I realize I just fell for a blog and the timing isn’t right and the blog is leaving me, just when I was thinking it had potential. Damnit. I’ll check out The Darcy Report and try to recover. 🙂

    • June 19, 2012 9:43 pm

      Thank you so much! Follow me on twitter @jenakingsley and like the Darcy Dates FB page on Facebook. I often write articles for other sites and that will alert you as to where they will be. Thank you!!!

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